The recent whole corona situation has made me wonder about so many things. The sudden change in this routine made me look into everyone else’s routine. I realized how much my mother is going through on daily basis without even acknowledging it and in this manner I started contemplating how being a housewife drains you. I wondered about how tough and extreme this whole housewife routine is since it automatically makes you the powerhouse and obligates you to be there physically and emotionally for everyone. This as any other job of this nature will drain you. By being more for others and filling yourself with their problems and issues you become more and more empty and though there is nothing wrong in it, yet you often lose balance. Regardless of your unadulterated and pure intentions the outcomes that result are frequently self-exhausting. This is the reason it’s essential to understand the fine line between accommodating others without losing yourself. So I pondered upon it further more and came up with some ideas that every housewife must do so as to to keep their mental health intact:

(Clearly I am not a specialist nor a housewife but I hope this helps)

1. It’s never too bad to take a break. By break I don’t mean you go on a vacation to Amsterdam and party hard (of course do that if you can). Break implies a break for yourself, always remember that you are a human being too and on the off chance that you keep on giving like that, you will turn out to be depleted and unpleasant. Your kids need a happy mom and if you continue to give like that, you will become nothing but exhausted and bitter. So design a break for yourself possibly on daily basis or weekly where you do what you absolutely love. Read, meditate or maybe go for a walk. However, this break needs to be just for you so if you’re taking your children or spouse along, that probably won’t help.

2. Set limits. By defining limits I don’t mean you necessarily become “selfish” and don’t give the “unconditional love”. Setting boundaries mean you begin to consider the very fact that if you continue to kill yourself and give more than needed, the less you’ll be appreciated and valued. Hence you need to understand how much you “need” to invest/give and not how much you “want” to invest or give.

3. Never lose interest. Consider what you truly love. I have seen numerous people (mainly married women/ housewives) who instantly abandon every hobby they had because they think its the only way to a “peaceful/ happy marriage”. IT IS A MYTH. The way to a happy and peaceful marriage is a happy you. What you like and what you do makes you, YOU. By giving everything, you lose all colors and hues to yourself and your partner wouldn’t know the person you are anymore and more importantly you wouldn’t have a clue about the person you are anymore. You like writing? Continue doing that. It’s not only important for your personality but also for your family to have you as you.

4. Never compromise on your self-esteem. Again I don’t mean you stop compromising at all or make everything “a subject of your self esteem.” What I mean is on the off chance that if you in initial stages tolerate things like “subtle derogatory remarks” or bitter behaviors that you shouldn’t be held accountable for, then they will continue for ever and later. It is possible that either you will adjust to these behaviors thinking you deserve it or these behaviors become a lifestyle and so strong that it couldn’t be changed. You need to tell people what you’re accustomed to listening and what you won’t tolerate at all. It doesn’t mean you put on a fight but it simply means you convey it subtly. The fact of the matter is that if you tolerate it once, you most likely would have to tolerate it again.

5. Lastly, know your worth. Just because your work isn’t monetary doesn’t mean it’s not real work. It is as significant as any other job. What you contribute to your home should be perceived and acknowledged the same way as other monetary contributions are valued. Because trust me, if being a housewife gets monetary then you’re without a doubt going to go rich.

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13 thoughts on “Cult of Domesticity

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