The next time you start to love someone more than yourself
Stop
The next time when you revamp yourself for someone
Stop
The next time you focus on someone more than you focus on your dreams
Stop
The next time the whole purpose of your life starts to revolve around someone
Stop
The next time you look at your phone only to check on them and their texts
Stop
The next time when you give up on baseball and start to love football for them
Stop
The next time when you look at their pictures and start to reread last nights chats
Stop
The next time when they start to define your happiness
Stop!
The attachments which make you forget who you are, are toxic. Set on a beautiful journey of self-discovery, find yourself but not in them. Let them accept your reality not your efforts.
The recent whole corona situation has made me wonder about so many things. The sudden change in this routine made me look into everyone else’s routine. I realized how much my mother is going through on daily basis without even acknowledging it and in this manner I started contemplating how being a housewife drains you. I wondered about how tough and extreme this whole housewife routine is since it automatically makes you the powerhouse and obligates you to be there physically and emotionally for everyone. This as any other job of this nature will drain you. By being more for others and filling yourself with their problems and issues you become more and more empty and though there is nothing wrong in it, yet you often lose balance. Regardless of your unadulterated and pure intentions the outcomes that result are frequently self-exhausting. This is the reason it’s essential to understand the fine line between accommodating others without losing yourself. So I pondered upon it further more and came up with some ideas that every housewife must do so as to to keep their mental health intact:
(Clearly I am not a specialist nor a housewife but I hope this helps)
1. It’s never too bad to take a break. By break I don’t mean you go on a vacation to Amsterdam and party hard (of course do that if you can). Break implies a break for yourself, always remember that you are a human being too and on the off chance that you keep on giving like that, you will turn out to be depleted and unpleasant. Your kids need a happy mom and if you continue to give like that, you will become nothing but exhausted and bitter. So design a break for yourself possibly on daily basis or weekly where you do what you absolutely love. Read, meditate or maybe go for a walk. However, this break needs to be just for you so if you’re taking your children or spouse along, that probably won’t help.
2. Set limits. By defining limits I don’t mean you necessarily become “selfish” and don’t give the “unconditional love”. Setting boundaries mean you begin to consider the very fact that if you continue to kill yourself and give more than needed, the less you’ll be appreciated and valued. Hence you need to understand how much you “need” to invest/give and not how much you “want” to invest or give.
3. Never lose interest. Consider what you truly love. I have seen numerous people (mainly married women/ housewives) who instantly abandon every hobby they had because they think its the only way to a “peaceful/ happy marriage”. IT IS A MYTH. The way to a happy and peaceful marriage is a happy you. What you like and what you do makes you, YOU. By giving everything, you lose all colors and hues to yourself and your partner wouldn’t know the person you are anymore and more importantly you wouldn’t have a clue about the person you are anymore. You like writing? Continue doing that. It’s not only important for your personality but also for your family to have you as you.
4. Never compromise on your self-esteem. Again I don’t mean you stop compromising at all or make everything “a subject of your self esteem.” What I mean is on the off chance that if you in initial stages tolerate things like “subtle derogatory remarks” or bitter behaviors that you shouldn’t be held accountable for, then they will continue for ever and later. It is possible that either you will adjust to these behaviors thinking you deserve it or these behaviors become a lifestyle and so strong that it couldn’t be changed. You need to tell people what you’re accustomed to listening and what you won’t tolerate at all. It doesn’t mean you put on a fight but it simply means you convey it subtly. The fact of the matter is that if you tolerate it once, you most likely would have to tolerate it again.
5. Lastly, know your worth. Just because your work isn’t monetary doesn’t mean it’s not real work. It is as significant as any other job. What you contribute to your home should be perceived and acknowledged the same way as other monetary contributions are valued. Because trust me, if being a housewife gets monetary then you’re without a doubt going to go rich.
I’m so happy that you decided to care finally. I was dying, hurting, stumbling and falling. You could’ve lend me a rope but you liked the idea of me falling. You never wanted me to climb back but once I did you never wanted yourself to fall in the same pithole so you held on to me.
You knew you were losing your grip and that killed you. You scratched my skin and dug your nails in me but you lost the grip. You wanted to hurt every part of me but it killed you how you ended up hurting yourself. People say you should forget it and acknowledge their care. What they meant is that you should allow yourself to drown with the one who is drowning. People care but they only care when they know you don’t need it. They only care when they need it. They only care when it’s useful to them.
Hello fellow bloggers 🙋🏻 I hope you all are having a nice day!
I have started a page on Facebook and from now on I’ll be posting most of my writings there, which means I’ll be inactive here. If you have any writings for me to post then let me know.
We do our very best but sometimes it’s just not good enough. We buckle our lapbelts, we wear a helmet, we stick to the lighted ones. We take all these safety precautions to save ourselves. We try so hard to protect ourselves but it doesn’t make a damn difference because when the bad things come, they come out of nowhere. Fate doesn’t care about our plans. Fate is a hunter. You’re falling and it throws you a rope but only to get you into the noose. I see no power greater than the power that lied within our fates. I’ve heard people saying ‘fate is a gift‘ but I haven’t seen gifts ruining people’s life. Gifts aren’t evil. Fate is a diplomacy. When it’s kind we claim ourselves ‘fortunate’ but that’s not true we were just favoured but when it’s a trump card or the turn of the tide we cry our eyes out as if life is all about pings and pangs. It leads us to nothing but agony. Fate fools you. It plays you and wins!
–Beautiful thoughts from a beautiful mind of Mahnoor Tabassum. Working with you has been a treat! ❤️
You called her fat, you called her short, you pulled her leg for being too skinny or being too tall. You made fun and laughed together. You knew it would break her inside but you laughed anyway. She knew she’s breaking inside but she laughed anyway. Funny and enjoyable it was.
She went home and looked at herself in a full length mirror trying hard to escape those fears, scars and insecurities. Moving her fingertips through all the nicest places she turned away. She wanted to shine the brightest this year but your approbations and jests quelled her but you both laughed because it was so entertaining. She lost the shine in her smile and forgot to suspire a fresher air. Poor she got more attuned to your toxicity.
Even on the days she deserved your claps, you refused to grow up. You made jokes and chortled because it was so amusing. Piece by piece you damaged her and laughed. You were so dead to find better reasons for your amusement and she was too dead to rebel.
She tried hard to seek your kind words but went home in a dismay. She cried and cried. Her pillows all wet, she shouted the loudest in her head. She looked out for answers to the questions that you inculcated in her mind. Questions that were now becoming a part of her soul. She hated herself even so more.
In the 20th Century, I just hope we are able to find better reasons for our mirth and better subjects for our jokes. At this point I just hope you realise how worse it is to be the reason behind why someone hates herself. Be kind. 🥀🌹
P.S: This article is for a friend that is where my purpose of using the pronoun ‘herself’ lies.
I don’t know or maybe we all don’t know. The problem is we never know but is this really a stumbling block?
Don’t you believe if we start knowing everything the world would lose its shine? The moon shone the brightest until we realized the truth. The butterfly seemed to be radiant and bright-colored until we took in its grotesque reality.
A wise once said: ‘Don’t ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up’ What is on the face and what could be inside? You never know. But why even to know if it is going to damage anyway? Maybe if we just start discerning everything, you and I will end up in a bath tub slitting our wrists. Maybe we’ll stop acting human. If we could look up a person from the inside we would probably build up an invisible wall and ignore each other at an another upgraded level. If we could look up a person from the inside we’d stop believing.. believing in the good. We will stop trying.. trying to find happiness because we’d already know what’s going to hurt us. Maybe we all somehow know what hurts. EVERYTHING. Every single thing. But how can we be sure without trying every single hope that brings us to light and then dampens our spirits? So once again we end up not knowing it.
We need reasons for our survival and this unsurety and vagueness is one of them. Life is just a short gist of experiences so I make sure I make the happy ones. I read it somewhere: ‘Knowledge is a rope and some times you’re weaving a noose out it’ Sometimes ignorance is a bliss and most of the times it is a blessing to not know things.
Wild Paradox. 